late night candy bars

they are also good for you.

today i had my first delicious, gleeful english 30 class with mr. harker. i missed his philosophical, stately rantings. that is what he does best.

he had the most interesting idea about goals that i have ever heard from a teacher. instead of madly encouraging us to define our future successes, he said he doesn't actually like the idea of goals. he prefers vague objectives, or general directions for our accomplishments. things to do, right. "if you spend too much time thinking about the future, you cease to exist in the present." at which point i had an interesting image of josh thinking about what he was going to eat for lunch tomorrow, and suddenly blinking out of existence. that's totally something that would happen to josh. actually i can see that being something that would happen to me. i just don't want to be one of those people who realizes in their mid-thirties that they don't know where all the time has gone. i want to know exactly what i have done with all my time, and i want to recognize endings and beginnings and savour moments and anniversaries so i can know exactly how much time has occurred between then and now, so i don't forget important things that happened. i want to reflect as much as possible in order to keep my memory fresh. i think it's one of those things where it's important to remember the past, in order not to repeat the same mistakes in the future.

i think i learned that in social studies.

the point is, i'm like this little banker of time. i keep very close track of it. it had occurred to me that reliving the past on a regular basis is probably not that great for me, but i honestly believe it's better than the alternative of not recognizing exactly how i came to be however and whereever i am at any given time. i just like to know these things.

I need a Mars Bar
hey raid the spa
To help me through the day
I need a Mars Bar
I've had total fun
It helps me - makes me -
work rest and play!!!

...i never edit these before i post them. then i go back and correct any embarrassing typos later.